Wet Dreams Suck!
by Chibiaddicted
Summary: He touched her lips, her hips – and then the dream ended. Wet dreams suck, especially when the instigator - And the entire town! - now knows your wildest, subconscious, fantasies.


I think I like writing one-shots a bit too much now :P

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His hands roamed over her naked body, barely touching her soft skin. Her eyes were blindfolded, but she knew who he was. Only he could be so…teasing. His soft lips touched her neck and she could feel his smirk as his fingers traveled down to her hips one-by-one.

And then the dream ended.

"So…this makes the what, tenth dream?" Ino asked with a sly grin as she sipped on her tea. Poor Sakura had come to her ten days ago with messy hair and a wild look. The pink-haired girl had claimed that she had had a dirty dream. Of who was still a mystery, but Ino choose to focus on the positive: Her childhood friend was horny.

Sakura groaned and slammed her head onto the table. After a good second she lifted it up and rested her chin on the now damaged table. Her eyes were sunken in and her hair was wiry and unbrushed. Ino would have been too embarrassed to see the girl if she hadn't known what was wrong.

"So I take that as a yes." Sakura nodded. "Have you even seen his face yet?"

"No," she mumbled, "but I think…" She bit her lip.

"You think?" Ino asked, leaning over the table.

"I think it might be, no, it's too embarrassing!" She hit her head on the table, causing the crack she had previously made to grow. Ino lifted her tea just in case Sakura decided to finish the poor table off.

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Just tell me already. You've been hiding this juicy piece of information for a while now."

Sakura glared at her 'friend'. "My misery should not be your erotic novel." Ino grinned. "And…" Sakura looked away, face turning the color of her hair, "I think it's _him_."

Ino spit her tea on the couple that was sitting next to them. The couple glared, but one look from the two fearsome girls drove the couple to run away.

"Him? Holy shit!" Ino yelled much louder than Sakura would have liked.

"Yeah, holy shit, I know." Sakura turned her head so her cheek was flat against the table. Then she sighed. "What am I going to do? This has never happened before _that_ started happening!"

But I then again you were a virgin before _that_."

Sakura's cheeks turned red again. "I'm blaming you for this. If you hadn't spiked my drink—"

"You'd be stir crazy and killing everyone again. I did it for Konoha." The blonde put a hand to her chest and pretended to be humble.

Sakura remembered the way she had acted from 12-17 and cringed. Ino was right – Sakura was a beast before _that_ night, but that didn't mean she had to remember the horrendous acts she did with…

"ArgH!!! I don't want to remember!" Sakura grabbed her head and screamed. Ino giggled.

"It was pretty gross watching you and him make out, but other than that it was for the good of mankind. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and torture Shikamaru with our thrice weekly sex."

"I really don't believe you when you claim he hates it, you know." Sakura said with a smile, her first in ten days.

Ino shrugged, standing up and slinging her purse over her shoulder. "He says he hates it, but it's the only thing I do that he doesn't call 'troublesome'." And then she 'poofed' away.

With a shrug at her friend's weird boyfriend, Sakura went to work at the hospital. At 21 she was the head of her department and practically ran the hospital. Throwing herself into work and training was all she could do to bring her thoughts away from Sasuke, at least until _that_ night came along.

Of course. What kind of girl has more sex in her dreams than in real life? Ten dreams versus four acts. Sad compared to most girls, pathetic since it's only happened when she was either extremely drunk and on her birthday.

"The bastard was always bad at finding gifts…" She mumbled to herself as she went to the hospital. It was supposed to be a regular work day until…

"Sakura!" A loud voice yelled from down the crowded hallway. "I heard you've been having sex dreams about—" As soon as the blonde's mouth opened Sakura knew what he was going to say. She ran towards him at full speed, left arm extended, and cloths lined him into her office.

"Gwya!" Naruto screamed as he went head first into her office.

"How the hell did you find out?!" She screamed as soon as she made sure the door was locked.

"Ino told me." He said with a goofy smile (from the concussion?). "And then I told—"

Thus Sakura began to plug her ears and yell until Naruto stopped talking. Which was a while because the blonde didn't get the hint for a few seconds.

"Why would you do that, Naruto? You know his evil, twisted character." Sakura shuddered. "He'll use this to his advantage!"

"So? Even Hinata says you guys need to have a relationship that doesn't involve more booze than even the mighty Tsunade can handle." He leaned against the wall and put his arms behind his head.

Sakura turned red and plopped down on her desk chair. "Don't remind me of his and my…past mistakes."

"A mistake is maybe once or twice. Four times on a set date is more like an anniversary." She threw a random pen at his head. He caught it with two fingers and flung it back into the pen jar. "But really, you two need to stop this…disgusting ritual." He stuck his tongue out with a disgusted look on his face. "It's obvious you two love each other."

"So you can be oblivious to Hinata for five years, but I have to jump into that pervert's arms after drunk, lonely sex?" She asked snidely.

"Drunk, lonely sex four times." Naruto said with a grin, dodging the pen that was flown at him this time. It got stuck in the wall all the way to the tip. He looked at it with a laugh. Naruto had gotten even more nonchalant over the years, especially after his relationship with Hinata began.

"Naruto." Sakura growled out. "Will you please leave? If you don't soon then I think I'll end up losing a wall and all of my pens."

The blonde man's cheerful expression turned serious and Sakura tensed up. It was never good when Naruto got serious.

"Sakura, I'm going to become Hokage in a few years, Tsunade already told me so, but before then I'm going to have a family. I'd prefer it if you and him came as a couple instead of acquaintances." He put a finger to his chin. "Actually, I'd like it more if you two came with two kids in tow a pair of wedding bands, but I can wait a little while for that."

"You proposed?" Was all she apparently got from his speech.

He grinned, blush forming on his tan cheeks. "Yep! Last night I popped the question!"

Sakura was stunned. "And she wants you to be one of the brides maids."

"That's amazing Naruto!" Sakura finally yelled. She hugged her friend before opening the door to her office and pushing him out. "But it doesn't stop the fact that I'm not going to marry that pervert!" Then, she locked the door.

Inside she took a deep breath to calm herself. Immediately afterwards she clenched her hands together to act as if she was choking someone.

"I'm so going to kill that girl tomorrow."

--

It was finally the end of the day. Apart from the snickering nurses, staring ninjas, and laughing women, Sakura survived scotch free. Everyone else on the other hand suffered a terrible pandemic of clumsiness and all fell down the stairs mysteriously (even those with mysterious kunai wounds claimed to have this disease).

Walking down the streets of Konoha was probably the most embarrassing act of all though. It was almost like the first time Sakura experienced the 'walk of shame' four years earlier when she left the pervert's house in the clothes she wore the night before smelling like alcohol and sex.

"This is horrible." She mumbled to herself as everyone stared at her. She clenched her fists and resisted the urge to 'poof' away. The ten minutes to her home felt like an hour, but luckily she lived not only alone, but in a deserted part of town.

As she put the key in the lock (can't trust ninjas these days) she heard a rustle from the bushes. Acting on instinct, she threw the nearest thing at the bushes. It happened to be a rock. A heavy rock.

A loud, almost hollow, _thump_ was heard and a curse. Sakura recognized the curse and laughed.

"Stalking now?" She giggled as he stood up.

He wiped the leaves from his jacket. "I thought I found a rare jewel in your bushes and decided to check it out."

"Uh-huh, sure." She rolled her eyes and unlocked her door. "Do…do you want to come inside?" She asked hesitantly.

"I'd love too." He said with a hidden smile.

Sakura frowned, but turned so he wouldn't see it and allowed him inside her tiny home.

"You've been here plenty of times so just make yourself comfortable. I'll get some food, hungry?" Her face turned red her own comment.

"Very, but Sakura."

"Yes?"

"Don't try and runaway. We need to talk." He looked at her seriously and she stuck her tongue out at him. Inside her kitchen she cursed at his ability to read her so easily.

She fixed a bowl of ramen, two packs in one bowl, and brought out two cups of water. "It's all I had since it's all Naruto will eat when he visits." She refused to look into his eye, knowing full well that he'd know she was scared if she looked at him.

They ate in silence.

He finished first (in half-a-second), and waited patiently for her to finish. Once she did she exclaimed she had 'to pee' and ran off.

"Sakura." He knocked on the door. "I know you're avoiding me. Come out." His voice was stern, a tone she had heard for almost half of her life. It was voice that said "don't ignore me or else punishment will ensue".

She opened the door meekly and he dragged her to her couch.

"You know about my dreams." She stated.

"Yes."

She smacked her head with her hand. "It's all Ino's fault! I told her in privacy. When'd she tell you?"

"After the first one." As soon as he finished speaking Sakura knew he was enjoying her torture. She told him so. "It is funny."

"That I'm having wild sex dreams of you against my will?!"

"Yes."

"It doesn't bother you one bit?" She asked, dumbfounded expression on her usually pretty face.

"Nope!" He grinned, looking much younger than he is. "I have them of you all the time."

"But those are probably you just being perverted. This is like my subconscious taking over."

"And what is your subconscious saying?" He asked, sounding genuinely interested.

"That I want to be blindfolded and teased." She mumbled. It was his worst effect on her – the fact that it was so easy to tell him anything. It was probably the reason she went to him when she got loneliest (and drunk).

"Well, I do have a solution for this, you know." He claimed, pulling up his hitai-ate.

"The sharingan?" She asked.

"No, sex." He said with an innocent look on his face.

Sakura had no reply to that and instead walked to her front door and opened it. "Leave, pervert."

He just pulled down his mask and Sakura was frozen. This was his ultimate trick to her into his bed. His face was just...too much. Handsome, manly, and very much Sakura's type. She gulped loudly and looked away from the glory.

"What are you going to take off next, your pants?" She said sarcastically before turning back to face him. He was standing up and had indeed taken off his pants. "It's called sarcasm, Kakashi." She giggled.

He fumbled at taking off his shirt, something he rarely had to do himself in situations such as this, and smirked at her.

"But it's not even my birthday. Not to mention I'm hardly drunk enough for this." She said as she sauntered over to him.

"Sakura," he stared at her intensely, "I'm tired of waiting an entire year to have you." The sincerity of his words shocked her. "So that's why I've decided to have you every night. No matter how sore you feel the next day."

"Is this your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?" She said bluntly. He nodded, finally getting his shirt off.

Sakura did a very unexpected thing next. She lifted her hand and pulled down her hitai-ate over her eyes.

"Fine, but tonight we're gonna do it _my_ way." She said with a growl before jumping the poor, defenseless, half-naked man.

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This turned out completely different than what I planned :D

Please review!


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